James, you daft sod… How could you leave me like this? I was meant to watch over you, always… Yet, here I am, alone, suffocating in the silence of what-ifs. What if I’d called you that day, eh? What if I’d taken a moment… just a bloody moment… to see the storm in your eyes? But no, I was too busy, too self-absorbed. And now… now you’re gone.
He stops, looking at a photograph of them as children, hands shaking.
I keep asking, how did it come to this? We were meant to grow old together, share stories of our triumphs and tragedies, our bloody ridiculous mistakes… not this. Not this cruel end. You were always the bright one, the brave one… and me? Just a shadow, always two steps behind. But I thought I had time, James… time to make things right, to tell you how much you meant…
His voice cracks, eyes welling with tears.
But time’s a thief, isn’t it? Steals away everything… everyone… when you’re not looking. I should have known better, should have… should have held on tighter. You were slipping, I saw it, but I thought, ‘He’s strong, he’ll bounce back.’ But you didn’t.
And now, all I’ve got are these hollow words… these regrets echoing in this empty room. I failed you, little brother… and no amount of tears, no amount of rage, can ever bring you back.
He sinks into a chair, defeated.
What do I do now, James? How do I carry on with this hole in my heart, this gnawing guilt that won’t let me be? I can’t… I can’t forgive myself. Not for this… never for this.